FIFTY FIVE

Father stays home having a sick day. Children are shushed and quietly ushered out the door asap, in order for him to rest and heal in peace and the serenity of his bed.

Mother stays home having a sick day. Sick day? What's a sick day?

FIFTY FOUR

Having a shower is now a sacred ten minutes of peace. Lock the door.

FIFTY THREE

A ten minute nap in the car, is the apparent equivalent as a two hour nap in bed.

FIFTY TWO

Pancakes and ice-cream for dinner in our house, can be excused as 'having a cultural experience'.

FIFTY ONE

Fathers get more excited than the kids when they reach the age to be old enough for lego.

FIFTY

Only fold washing if the kids aren't around.

FORTY NINE

Wine. For so many reasons.

FORTY EIGHT

Mother goes for a walk wearing a baby, you hardly get a second look.

Father goes for a walk wearing a baby, EVERY SINGLE woman gives him a beaming smile.

FORTY SEVEN

Bribe with lollipops to ensure a smooth grocery shop experience.

FORTY SIX

Boys definitely have no 'off' switch.

FORTY FIVE

Invest in overalls.

FORTY FOUR

Never say "I'm never going to give MY baby a dummy".

(Onto baby number 3 with a dummy now. Oops!)

FORTY THREE

Unfolded washing isn't always a bad thing. 

(Especially when you don't have a bouncernet)

FORTY TWO

Bubbles = cocaine for kids.

FORTY ONE

Try not to compare your baby. They all get there in the end.

Jade - 4 1/2 months

Gia - 4 months

Maika - 6 weeks

FORTY

Mess. Just accept it.

THIRTY NINE

The more babies you have, the less precious you get about them. Four months and trying to eat grass? Sure, why not!

THIRTY EIGHT

It takes conscious thought and lots of concentration not to open your own mouth when spoon feeding your baby/child.

THIRTY SEVEN

Grandparents think it's funny to sabotage your parenting (getting their own back!?), by buying books that encourage toilet talk.

THIRTY SIX

Don't give away all your boys clothes too soon if you have a girl afterwards. They can still look cool wearing dinosaurs!

THIRTY FIVE

Best lazy parent game ever. Have a pretend egg fight with your kids. They run around laughing like mad and you don't have to move your butt off the couch.

THIRTY FOUR

Kids songs get stuck in your head. Bob the Builder is the worst. Avoid this song at all costs.

THIRTY THREE

Taking out shares in 'Treasures' before you decided to have kids close in age, would have been a smart idea.

THIRTY TWO

Coffee will always taste better if your kids are napping. (And it won't go cold!).

THIRTY ONE

The more kids you have, the further down the line your first 'baby' goes.... until she becomes just 'the cat'.

THIRTY

Stagefright will never be an issue again, as going in front of an audience becomes the daily norm.

TWENTY NINE

Sometimes the simplest things can provide the best entertainment. And entertain for ages.

TWENTY EIGHT

Sandwiches taste far more delicious when crustless and cut into triangles.

TWENTY SEVEN

Just do whatever works!

TWENTY SIX

Get in trainee nannies. As often as you can.

TWENTY FIVE

 Plasters hold magical properties. On application, not only will the blood stop, but also tears, pain and give the wearer instant energy again.

TWENTY FOUR

I'm no longer allowed to run screaming and lock myself in the bathroom at the sight of a mantis.

TWENTY THREE

 

A frontpack is as essential as your right hand. 

If you have a particularly 'difficult' baby, choose your frontpack wisely. You could be wearing it faaaairly often.

TWENTY TWO

There are times when you SHOULD trust what your 3 year old tells you. "I have a sore puku" being one of them. At these times, keep an ice-cream container close at hand when out in the car...

TWENTY ONE

If you can't beat the rain, join it and dance in the puddles. Then throw the kids in the shower afterwards to warm them up!

TWENTY

Concealer gives the illusion you had a good nights sleep.

NINETEEN

Your life if so exciting, that small things like rolling over for the first time, become the highlight of your day.

EIGHTEEN

Talking to yourself is a daily occurance. Especially when you have toddlers.

SEVENTEEN

Rainy Sunday afternoons are a good excuse to use the technology babysitter.

SIXTEEN

Never trust a birthday cake where you didn't blow out the candles yourself. Residue is not what you want to eat.

FIFTEEN

First baby: Raspberry blowing phase is super cute.

Third baby: Raspberry blowing phase is frustrating. Baby's one and two will copy and you have no right to tell them off.

FOURTEEN

Save up all those 1/15th eaten apples and pears. Stew them up and serve them back to the little food wasters.

THIRTEEN

                                                    Leather. Couches.

TWELVE

                             Prepare for the future. Teach them from young.

ELEVEN

Make your life easier whenever possible. Especially if you've been left alone for the evening with all the kids.

TEN

Short names are great - they will be used in both greater frequency and volume, the older your child gets.

NINE

             A slow cooker is a basic necessity if you have more than one child.

EIGHT

That I would have had money enough for a weeks worth of groceries if I had collected a dollar from every stranger who tells me that I must be busy.

SEVEN

                 Formula is NOT an adequate substitute for milk in your coffee.

SIX

Teddy Bears will always remain brave and strong, especially when you are the most afraid.